Here it is... its my story once more, updated, but not fully updated, don't when I'll get around to finishing the update.
Randolph Budd's anime story. by ~lugexd on deviantART
Here it is... its my story once more, updated, but not fully updated, don't when I'll get around to finishing the update.
Randolph Budd's anime story. by ~lugexd on deviantART
Walls of Text
um, no duh? its a story....
I think what ExPDawg was trying to say was that the story starts with one dull paragraph followed by another dull paragraph, and followed by another, etc.
Spice things up a bit, everything happens a bit too quickly and sometimes when I'm reading it the story just sounds a bit lame, like as if it was written by a ten year old.
I wish that you don't take this comment as an insult, but merely a humble review from another fellow writer.
Good luck on your next chapter!
-Sigh
This is no where close to finished, but, I don't take it as an insult, but it depends on the writer on how fast the story moves. Alot of people I know from my school, they say that they like how it moves fast, others say that it moves too fast.... its all opinion... hell, my english teacher said that it was good as is, instead of taking a few chapters to get into the action.