a story i wrote at school [not finished] - Page 5

Sarcor · 03-03-2008, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dishonourable

Twas a dark and stormy night, I was alone in my house when there came a sudden knock at the window, it was Emma- she had scaled the 3feet to my ground floor bedroom. Quickly I moved to the window and fumbled with the catch as I opened it, letting her into my room. Before I could say anything her lips were on mine, her hands moving slowly down..............

And for the rest u have to go to GZF 18+

k keep going.

*grabs lube*

Jk.

**kickkcik** · 03-04-2008, 08:56 AM

-.- who ukin -reped me ill kill ya and make 100 accounts and -rep u on each one dickhead

HolyStriker · 03-14-2008, 11:55 AM

I know I'm not allowed to flame, but I have some pointers as a fellow writer to another:

-Add more detail, don't write event after event.
-Few grammar mistakes
-Try to split it to shorter paragraphs so it isn't too huge a paragraph.

Other than that, good job. Keep it up.

Sigh · 03-16-2008, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kickkcik

-.- who ukin -reped me ill kill ya and make 100 accounts and -rep u on each one dickhead

yo keep ur pants on lol, its just an online forum.

Ailysa · 03-17-2008, 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sigh

yo keep ur pants on lol, its just an online forum.

Just an online forum? JUST an online forum?!

...

...Well, yeah. Yes it is

XD

**kickkcik** · 04-07-2008, 08:12 AM

oh man i want this post deleting please
im at school right now

Ailysa · 04-07-2008, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kickkcik

oh man i want this post deleting please
im at school right now

Post deleting of what? O_o

[Aplus]Bunny · 04-07-2008, 02:34 PM

oooooooooooooooooo

**kickkcik** · 04-22-2008, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sigh

yo keep ur pants on lol, its just an online forum.

i want this post deleting MY POST

Freddy Krueger · 04-22-2008, 06:30 PM

not bad

BUT...

if the school part is real I am going to kill you so don't fall asleep

**kickkcik** · 10-29-2008, 03:49 AM

.....

i totaly forgot about this story i have wrote loads at school

03-04-2008, 08:56 AM	#62 (permalink)
kickkcik Gunzfactorian Golden Gunzfactorian Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: S2-sheffield,england Posts: 108 kickkcik's GamerBio	Re: a story i wrote at school [not finished] -.- who ukin -reped me ill kill ya and make 100 accounts and -rep u on each one dickhead __________________ +rep me and i +rep you as soon as possible ^^

03-14-2008, 11:55 AM	#63 (permalink)
HolyStriker Gunzfactorian Patriot Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Singapore Posts: 280	Re: a story i wrote at school [not finished] I know I'm not allowed to flame, but I have some pointers as a fellow writer to another: -Add more detail, don't write event after event. -Few grammar mistakes -Try to split it to shorter paragraphs so it isn't too huge a paragraph. Other than that, good job. Keep it up. __________________

04-07-2008, 08:12 AM	#66 (permalink)
kickkcik Gunzfactorian Golden Gunzfactorian Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: S2-sheffield,england Posts: 108 kickkcik's GamerBio	Re: a story i wrote at school [not finished] oh man i want this post deleting please im at school right now __________________ +rep me and i +rep you as soon as possible ^^

04-07-2008, 02:34 PM	#68 (permalink)
[Aplus]Bunny Gunzfactorian Guardian Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1,205 [Aplus]Bunny's GamerBio	Re: a story i wrote at school [not finished] oooooooooooooooooo

04-22-2008, 06:30 PM	#70 (permalink)
Freddy Krueger Newbie Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 2 Freddy Krueger's GamerBio	Re: a story i wrote at school [not finished] not bad BUT... if the school part is real I am going to kill you so don't fall asleep __________________ 1, 2 Freddy's coming for you 3, 4 and lock your door 5, 6 get a crusifix 7, 8 and stay up late 9, 10 NEVER SLEEP AGAIN I am going to kill you

10-29-2008, 03:49 AM	#71 (permalink)
kickkcik Gunzfactorian Golden Gunzfactorian Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: S2-sheffield,england Posts: 108 kickkcik's GamerBio	Re: a story i wrote at school [not finished] ..... i totaly forgot about this story i have wrote loads at school __________________ +rep me and i +rep you as soon as possible ^^