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08-14-2005, 09:20 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Gunzfactorian Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Lost somewhere
Posts: 182
  |  FanFic #1: Archrivals "So this is where Cassidy's been hiding out." Jack stood at the helm of a small motorboat. Ahead on the horizon was a small island. Palm trees could be seen waving in the salty sea breeze. Coconuts littered the beach and small caves cut deep into the island's bluffs. A waterfall cascaded down one of the bluffs, reflecting the tropical sunset. Many people had tried to reach this paradise as was evident by the numerous shipwrecks surrounding the island. Carefully swerving around the reefs that encompassed the island, Jack landed the small motorboat. Reaching down, Jack quickly grasped his twin Renard sub-machine guns. He slipped them into their holsters and leapt off the small craft. Making sure that his Niko R2 rifle and his katana were securely fastened, he began scanning the caves for any signs of movement and not finding any, he entered the nearest one to begin his search. 5 hours and 28 caves later, Jack was beginning to get annoyed. "Jean had better not have failed me," mumbled Jack. "I coulda gone to a movie with Anne but no, Cassidy just had to slip up and show himself today." Jack pulled out a radio and began to talk into it. "Hello?" A soft-voiced man came onto the radio. "This is Jean, who are you and what do you want?" "Jean it's me." "Oh. So you caught Cassidy yet, Jack?" "I wish," Jack snorted, "are you absolutely sure that Cassidy is on Paradise Island though?" "Yeah," replied Jean, "it's the only place within 50 miles of where he stole the Dominion. Besides, the Coast Sentinels would have caught him if he looped back around towards land and since he stole the Dominion while it was refueling, it didn't have enough gas to go much more than 50 miles." "Alright." "Anything else you need, Jack?" "Guess not. Aright, Jack out." As Jack began to head for the opposite side of the island he noticed a large object smashed on one of the sea rocks near the shore. Stepping closer, Jack could see that it was a large ironclad battleship. Peeling maroon letters adorned the otherwise dull side. Dominion. "Wait a minute," Jack said, "it'd take a whole lot more than a couple rocks to take down an ironclad. Something isn't right." Running quickly to the Dominion, Jack walked around the ship and began inspecting it. A large hole penetrated one of the sides like the gaping maw of some sort of hellish beast. The top deck had been blown clean off and the metal around the hole was melted. "What the hell?" Jack murmured to himself in a state of horror and awe. Jack knew of no such weapon capable of that much destruction. He quickly pulled out the radio again. "Jean, I found the Dominion," he said hastenedly. "Oh splendid!" excalimed Jean. "I'm not so sure," replied Jack. "What do you mean?" "Something really powerful hit this... It's been blown to pieces." "Hmm. That is interesting... Give me a little while to find out what it could've been." "Okay." A few minutes later the radio buzzed forth with Jean's answer. "I've found out what it is. It's a new technology that's just hit the market. It's called a rocket launcher. I don't know who could have one though, they're really expensive." "Alright. Thanks Jean. Jack out." Jack sat down on a nearby rock and put his head in his hands. What chance did he stand against something that can take down an ironclad? Besides, he didn't even have a clue as to where Cassidy had ended up. Opening his eyes, Jack noticed a faint indent in the ground. Then another and another. Footprints. "Perfect," Jack thought. Following the trail of footprints, Jack ended up at a small pool with a waterfall cascading down into it. The faint outline of a cave mouth could be seen behind the falling deluge. Sliding the Nico off his back he took a breath and walked through the watery gateway. The cave was dim and damp. Moss covered the walls and drips fell from the ceiling. Walking around a bend in the cave he could see a faint light glistening off the walls. Following the light he came to a small, rusted iron door in the wall. It was partly ajar and he could see bullet holes in it. Cassidy definitely came this way. Pushing it open he came into a small, weakly-lit room. A ledge rose a few feet above the rest of the room. Jack could see a man lying on the ledge. The man had shoulder length blonde hair and torn clothes. A pool of red liquid surrounded him. Light glinted off of a knife that was stuck deep into his chest. "So this is what happened to Cassidy," said Jack. Laughter came from behind him. Whirling around, Jack saw a tall man with a bodyguard standing before him. The tall man had a sick grin on his face. Blood dripped from the man's gloves. "Diego," Jack said icily. Diego strode forward confidently. He wore a fancy red and white trenchcoat. Black hair framed his dark face. A kind of evil charisma seemed to emanate from the man. An empty knife sheath could be clearly seen strapped to his left leg. “Hola amigo,” said Diego, “I trust you had a nice trip over?” “What the hell are you doing here?” said Jack. “Hunting criminals same as you, amigo,” said Diego with an air of superiority. “Hunting?” said Jack as he stared back at Cassidy’s bloody corpse. “Si, senor,” replied Diego, “hunting.” "You sick bastard!" yelled Jack, rage beginning to brim over. "Cassidy may have been a criminal but he's still a damn human being! There's no need for you to disembowl him like that!" Diego just laughed again. "I'm growing tired of this conversation," said Diego in his deep accent. "Sorry amigo but I'm afraid your time is up." The bodyguard slowly moved in on Jack. With not enough room to fire the Nico, Jack swung instead swung it at the bodyguard. The bodyguard's muscular hands caught the rifle with ease and threw it into a far off corner of the room. Jack whipped out the Renards and opened fire. Bullets slid into the bodyguard's large frame. One bullet entered the bodyguard's leg sending him sprawling to the floor. Jack whirled around, his katana now out of its sheath. The blade bit into the bodyguard's neck, severing it from his torso. Blood spewed from the gaping wound that was once the man's neck. Jack turned towards Diego, his katana held out before him in a defensive stance. Diego just sneered and reached into his trenchcoat. He pulled out a large metal cylinder and threw it at the floor. It broke on impact releasing smoke throughout the room. The smoke burned Jack's eyes and throat but he began to wildly swing about in the smoke in hope of hitting Diego. He heard a metal clang and felt his arm be wrenched back. He realized he had just hit the door. Pulling out his Renards again, Jack fired into the door to create ventilation. As the smoke cleared, Jack heard a strange noise behind him. Slowly turning around Jack saw Diego standing on the ledge pointing a gun towards him. A really big gun. It looked like it weighed a ton, but Diego seemed to be able to wield it with ease. "Could that be the rocket launcher?" Jack wondered. He could see Diego's finger hovering on the trigger. "Adios amigos," Diego stated simply as he pulled the trigger. Jack dove out of the way as the rocket exploded behind him turning the iron door to shrapnel. A deep, primeval rumble began to sound as the cave began to shake. Stone began to fall from the ceiling, creating a humongous hole. Diego turned and saluted Jack before running up the wall out of the cave. Jack ran towards the wall to get out but a colossal chunk of earth fell from the sky onto him. He could feel his limbs compressing and the air leaking out of his lungs. He stared up at the ceiling and muttered a prayer as the darkness engulfed him. When Jack awoke all he could see was bright white light. "Am I in Heaven?" Jack muttered. "Far from it,"came a stern voice from above him. As Jack's eyes adjusted to the bright light, he realized he was in a hospital room. An IV ran into his arm and a doctor stood above him. "Just what exactly in tarnation were you doing?" questioned the doctor, "You have 5 broken ribs, a broken arm, and a fracture in your skull roughly the size of a coin." Jack thought for a moment before answering. "I was..." "Well?" pried the doctor impatiently. "I was...hunting," he said with a roguish grin. "I suppose I should leave you alone now," said the doctor, obviously not believing his story. Nearly as soon as the doctor had exited the room, a voice came over Jack's radio. "Jack? Can you hear me? It's Jean." "Yeah I c'n hear ya." "Good. Lucazzi just showed up at Royale Station with a gang of Anarchists in tow. You know the rest." Jack laughed, turned off the radio, and headed out the door to check himself out. |
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08-14-2005, 11:13 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Germahn Nazee Golden Gunzfactorian   | I like it. You've got a good storyline base. The overall structure and grammar could use some slight work, however. Example is, more details could be used, as to the room's looking, or that the rocket launcher looked as heavy as a car. Even simple things like that can add a lot to the story. Out of curiosity, how old are you? And I give the story 7/10. |
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08-15-2005, 01:12 AM
| #7 (permalink) | |
| Germahn Nazee Golden Gunzfactorian | Quote:
At least, I did with my teacher. I'm not sure about yours, heheh... | |
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08-18-2005, 08:33 PM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Gunzfactorian Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Lost somewhere
Posts: 182
| NOTE: i've recieved alotta complaints about Jack's injuries and him getting up and walkin away with them... I know it is completely unrealistic but then again so is GunZ...ppl running up walls...nuff said what i meant to have there was for Jack to sustain heavy injuries but then go right back into the fray to show u the how Jack kinda lives...i kinda added too many injuries though and kinda lost the whole point ill try to refrain from that in the future so sry...and plz stop complainin about that i know i screwed that part over horribly Episode 2 will give u a glimpse into what his life is like when he isn't off chasing criminals (this is to make up for the awful ending to episode 1) (and btw...i call em episodes...blame me liking anime too much) |
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08-19-2005, 02:17 AM
| #14 (permalink) | |
| Gunzfactorian Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Lost somewhere
Posts: 182
| Quote:
Jack strolled through the bustling streets of Riazza City. He took in a deep breath, held it, and then exhaled. He loved his home town of Riazza. Being away from home for up to months at a time hunting down criminals, Jack savored every minute he could spend there. Bright multi-colored lights hung off the buildings, giving the road a mysterious, otherworldly glow. Though the streets were crowded, people seemed not to notice as they weaved their way through the churning masses. Earlier, Jack had decided that he was up for a night on the town. Since none of his friends were home at the time, he chose to go clubbing. As he wandered past the Grande Hotel a sign set on the sidewalk caught his eye. "Come see the Ninja Princess Andrea, all the way from the far off Orient! 9:00 to midnight in the Paladium Lounge." Jack stared up at the Grey's Clock Tower looming high overhead the surrounding skyscrapers. It's polished face shimmered in the moonlight as the giant metal hands passed over it. 9:27 p.m. Shrugging his shoulders, Jack started for the door. "Worth a try I suppose," he said cheerfully. Stepping into the Paladium Lounge was like entering another world. Contrasting the red carpets and golden banisters of the Grande Hotel, the Paladium Lounge was full off glass and metal. Brilliant spotlights shone down upon the floor casting strange, shimmering designs. The crowd pulsated to the beat of the music, which was an upbeat rock song with a certain techno flair to it. His eyes following the crowd's, Jack stared towards the stage. There on stage was a rather pretty girl with a guitar. She was not extraordinarily beautiful but she had a sort of aura that radiated energy and youthful spunk. She gracefully danced across the stage while playing her guitar and singing. This could only be one person, the ninja princess Andrea. Jack was sure of it. "Dancing, singing, and she's cute; a triple threat," Jack laughed jovially. Jack headed down to the bar and sat down, his eyes never leaving the ninja princess on stage. "What can I get for you sir?" inquired the bartender. Jack didn't seem to hear so the barkeeper repeated his question. "Hmm? Oh sorry," said Jack a little ashamed. "I'll have a Bloody Mary." The bartender nodded and turned away to start working on Jack's drink. Jack turned back to the performance on stage. Something about the girl intrigued him. There was something in the way that she moved that hinted that she had some sort of secret, that this form she was in now was merely a mask for some deeper identity. Feeling a tap on his shoulder, Jack spun around. The bartender was staring at him and a drink sat on the bar in front of him. Suddenly realizing why the bartender was staring at him, Jack pulled a few bills out of his pocket, unfolded them, and slid them across the bar. Nodding contentedly, the bartender turned back towards the other customers. As the show ended, the ninja princess headed down to one of the tables offstage as the next band entered. Jack strode confidently towards her table. "Pardon me ma'am but could I buy you a drink?" he asked politely. "If by a drink you mean a soda, sure," she replied happily. A few minutes later Jack returned and set a soda down on the table. "Wanna sit with me?" Andrea asked a little shyly. Jack sat down opposite her. "Not that I mind," Jack said nonchalantly, "but why'd you want a soda? Alcohol typically calms the nerves more than soda does after a hard day of work." Andrea just laughed. Jack stared at her with a look the clearly conveyed that he had no idea what she was laughing about. "I'm under-age," the ninja princess replied as the laughter finally subsided. "I'm only seventeen." Jack stared at her. “You’re kidding right?” She shook her head. “You’re a lady of surprises, ninja princess,” Jack chuckled. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Andrea retorted. “You’re a seventeen year old who looks at least twenty. And well, you don’t exactly look like you came from the Orient.” Andrea began to giggle. Pretty soon Jack was chuckling along. Not long after that they were both laughing like they had just heard the funniest joke in the world. He wasn’t sure if it was the Bloody Mary or not but Jack decided he liked this so called ninja princess. As they both sunk deep into their conversation a deafening noise erupted from the crowd, pulling them both from their happy state of oblivion. Looking over, they noticed a group of people had started a brawl on the dance floor. One of the men had knocked out the barkeep and was now covering the bar in alcohol. Another one of the men was waving a gun around in the crowd. Jack's hand instinctively slid to his Renards only to remember he had left them at his apartment. His sword and Nico were there too. Jack sighed and turned to Andrea. He looked at Andrea's chair. She had disappeared. Looking around wildly Jack finally noticed her on the stage fumbling around with her guitar. One of the men jumped up on stage and ran towards her. Jack let out a cry and right as the man was almost on her, Andrea spun around, her right leg shooting out and nailing the man right in the jaw. He fell immediately to the stage floor. Jack saw the man at the bar pull out a lighter. Sensing what the man was going to do, Jack reached down and tore off the table leg. Knocking out one of the armed men in his way, Jack rushed for the bar. The man now stood on a barstool, the lighter raised above his head. Knowing he didn't have enough time to get to the bar, Jack hurled the table leg at the man. There was a sharp crack as it nailed the man in the back of his head, sending him sprawling. As he fell, the lighter hit against the bar igniting it. The alcohol drenched bar immediately became a raging pyre. The nearby curtains caught fire quickly too. Soon, large portions of the Paladium Lounge were also a part of the inferno. Seeing the flames, Jack quickly remembered Andrea and spun around towards the stage. There he saw a group of men armed with all assortment of makeshift weapons advancing on her. She held her guitar in her hands. Whirling towards the left, Andrea swung her guitar into the face of the nearest man, shattering his skull. The force of the swing kept her spinning around leaving her backside exposed. One of the men lunged at her. Nearly as quick as he had leapt forward, the man fell backwards in two halves. There stood Andrea, a sword in her hand. Jack could see a small slit in the top of the guitar. He chuckled. "A sheath," he said in awe. Continuing to watch the fray onstage, Jack failed to realize that someone had snuck up behind him. Two strong arms suddenly closed around Jack's neck, attempting to strangle him. Fighting for breath, Jack swung his arms and legs around wildly but it was to no avail. Suddenly forcing his elbow backwards, he felt it sink into the person behind him. The person let out a loud gasp of air. Turning around, Jack could see that the man was doubled over, wincing in pain. Jack picked up a nearby barstool and swung it at the man, decking him. Andrea stood on the stage, the mob slowly moving in on her. She swiped her sword at the nearest man, hacking his stomach open. She quickly switched directions plunging the sword deep into the chest of the next man. She suddenly sensed someone behind her. She spun around only to find one of the mob drop to the floor. Jack stood behind the man, her guitar in his hands. They both winked to each other then flew into the mob. Blood spewed across the stage as person after person was felled on the spot. Suddenly the doors bust open and police poured in, their guns out in front of them. Right behind them was the fire department. Later, after everyone was evacuated and witnesses talked to one of the cops walked up to Jack. "So Jack," began the policeman, "it seems that you can catch criminals in the most interesting of places." Jack stared at him, not understanding. "It appears," the policeman continued, "that you've caught the infamous Right Hand Crew, a dangerous gang. As such, we will need to get the bounty to you." The policeman pulled a substantial sum of money out of the breast pocket on his uniform. Jack merely brushed the money aside. Not seeming to understand, the policeman tried again with the same results. "What're you doing?" the policeman inquired, surprised. Jack shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't do it alone," he said simply. Then he looked over at Andrea. She smiled and waved. He winked back. The policeman chuckled and headed towards Andrea. He handed her the money then left the building. Andrea stood up and walked over to Jack. "Thanks," she said. "No problem," replied Jack as he put his arm around her shoulder and led her out into the street. "Yep," Jack thought happily, "tonight was definitely worth not staying at home." | |
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