Heres my story, reuploaded.

luge · 08-28-2007, 12:16 AM

Here it is... its my story once more, updated, but not fully updated, don't when I'll get around to finishing the update.
Randolph Budd's anime story. by ~lugexd on deviantART

Experience · 08-28-2007, 12:19 AM

Walls of Text

luge · 08-28-2007, 02:24 AM

um, no duh? its a story....

Sigh · 08-28-2007, 05:14 AM

I think what ExPDawg was trying to say was that the story starts with one dull paragraph followed by another dull paragraph, and followed by another, etc.

Spice things up a bit, everything happens a bit too quickly and sometimes when I'm reading it the story just sounds a bit lame, like as if it was written by a ten year old.

I wish that you don't take this comment as an insult, but merely a humble review from another fellow writer.

Good luck on your next chapter!

-Sigh

Sarcor · 08-28-2007, 11:15 AM

Omg. Thats almost like my story except with more details.

luge · 09-01-2007, 01:37 AM

This is no where close to finished, but, I don't take it as an insult, but it depends on the writer on how fast the story moves. Alot of people I know from my school, they say that they like how it moves fast, others say that it moves too fast.... its all opinion... hell, my english teacher said that it was good as is, instead of taking a few chapters to get into the action.

Ailysa · 09-03-2007, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExPDawg

Walls of Text

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08-28-2007, 12:16 AM	#1 (permalink)
luge Gunzfactorian Guardian Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: ny Posts: 1,220	Heres my story, reuploaded. Here it is... its my story once more, updated, but not fully updated, don't when I'll get around to finishing the update. Randolph Budd's anime story. by ~lugexd on deviantART __________________ Click on the signature to join our forums. we currently have an arcade, an sotw, a laotf, we are setting up a "shop so you can change your name aswell and title.

08-28-2007, 12:19 AM	#2 (permalink)
Experience Gunzfactorian Hero Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: California Posts: 3,062	Re: Heres my story, reuploaded. Walls of Text __________________ Experience

08-28-2007, 02:24 AM	#3 (permalink)
luge Gunzfactorian Guardian Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: ny Posts: 1,220	Re: Heres my story, reuploaded. um, no duh? its a story.... __________________ Click on the signature to join our forums. we currently have an arcade, an sotw, a laotf, we are setting up a "shop so you can change your name aswell and title.

08-28-2007, 05:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
Sigh Gunzfactorian Guardian Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Singapore Posts: 1,767 Sigh's GamerBio	Re: Heres my story, reuploaded. I think what ExPDawg was trying to say was that the story starts with one dull paragraph followed by another dull paragraph, and followed by another, etc. Spice things up a bit, everything happens a bit too quickly and sometimes when I'm reading it the story just sounds a bit lame, like as if it was written by a ten year old. I wish that you don't take this comment as an insult, but merely a humble review from another fellow writer. Good luck on your next chapter! -Sigh __________________ Rawr!@!

08-28-2007, 11:15 AM	#5 (permalink)
Sarcor Gunzfactorian Guardian Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Past the sea of Gumdrops Posts: 1,031 Sarcor's GamerBio	Re: Heres my story, reuploaded. Omg. Thats almost like my story except with more details. __________________ Nagunz/IJJIgunz: HaxedSarcor [33] ßéßé [15] BACK IN ACTION P.S. +Rep anyone who likes Dragonforce. Remember 100+ posts +rep counts! Tired of begging for prems? Well why not make your own money!!---> http://adbux.org/?r=Sarcor

09-01-2007, 01:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
luge Gunzfactorian Guardian Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: ny Posts: 1,220	Re: Heres my story, reuploaded. This is no where close to finished, but, I don't take it as an insult, but it depends on the writer on how fast the story moves. Alot of people I know from my school, they say that they like how it moves fast, others say that it moves too fast.... its all opinion... hell, my english teacher said that it was good as is, instead of taking a few chapters to get into the action. __________________ Click on the signature to join our forums. we currently have an arcade, an sotw, a laotf, we are setting up a "shop so you can change your name aswell and title.